Research Rough Draft Workshop 1 (Lindsey G.)

Overall
1. Your paper has good passion. It seems like you are really interested and care about overfishing. Personally, I like the facts given to support your views.
2. Your organization is a bit scattered. You should jot it all down and arrange it to what works the best. I think once you do this, you will have a better paper all around, because your arguments and counterarguments will flow.

Thesis
3. You do express your own opinion. You are arguing that overfishing is devastating and needs to be stopped at once, but you need counter arguments.
4. The conservation and animal lovers will agree with you. The fishermen and businesses who rely on the fish market will disagree.
5. Yes.

Content
6. Honestly....it needs work, lots of work. I would rate it a 4, maybe a 5.
7.Your into paragraph could use a better lead in sentence, and try to use less "world wide" references. Make counterarguments as well.
8.That fishing creates lots of jobs, it feeds millions and the fish need to be fished.
9.No
10.Yes, it is pretty clear.

Style
11. The transitions are good.
12. No it is really not an attention grabber. Try starting with a startling fact or something of that nature. Capture the reader!
13. Your concluding paragraph is not too shabby. Touch it up a bit. revise it and it will be good.

Research
14. 1
15. Only uses 1
16. No
17. Yes, fix this, you have the info...use it :)
18. Seems that way.
19. You did comment, just add more quotes.